Should A Girl Say I Love You First

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Hey Soul Bonding Love, I hope you guys are well. My name is Maya, I’m a 26-year-old graphic designer from Seattle, and I am madly in love with my best friend, who also happens to be my flatmate. His name is Sam, he is an aspiring musician. We have been living together for about two years now and everything was pretty normal until a few months ago. You know they always say the best relationships come out of friendship? Well, that seems to be my case here. Over the last couple of months, we’ve gotten really close – popcorn filled movie nights cuddled on the couch, late-night chats about life and dreams, impromptu cooking sessions at midnight with indie rock playing in the background…It has been dreamy. Our friends often tease us about our chemistry saying we look like one of those cute couples from rom-coms. Now comes the problem. I think I have fallen hard for Sam but he hasn’t said anything suggesting he feels the same…or maybe he’s just shy? Or clueless perhaps? He can be like that sometimes; all caught up in his melodies and strumming his guitar oblivious to what’s happening around him. Anyways back to my predicament: Should I say ‘I love you’ first? According to all societal norms as well as all those romantic comedies his mom adores, it’s generally expected that guys make the first move or at least verbalize their feelings first. The fear of rejection keeps holding me back because if things end up being awkward between us or worst case scenario – our friendship gets ruined then it would break me. On top of this fear there is a fear that maybe he doesn’t see me as anything more than just a good friend and housemate… So any advice will be appreciated because quite honestly it’s starting to consume my every thought…should girls break traditional dating norms and risk saying ‘I love you’ first? Looking forward to your advice, Maya

The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Friends Or Family Member…

Here’s what I will say, Maya: Relationships are complex, especially when they start out as friendships. The fear of ruining a good friendship is real. The fear of rejection is real. However, the regret of not expressing your feelings could be even worse. Firstly, you need to clear your mind and really assess your feelings. Sometimes, when we’re really close to someone, we mistake comfort and companionship for love. Were there any significant changes in your life or Sam’s recently? It might be helpful to consider whether the increased closeness and new feelings are a result of external factors or changes. Secondly, consider Sam’s behaviour towards you. You mentioned you guys are spending more time together and doing things that could be interpreted as ‘couple’ activities. But also remember that some people are naturally affectionate with friends. If Sam is treating you in a similar way to how he treats his other close friends, then it might be an indication that he sees you as just a friend. If you’re sure about your feelings, here’s the thing: You have the right to express them. Forget about societal norms and traditional dating rules. We’re living in 2021! It’s completely okay for women to make the first move. However, be prepared for all outcomes. He might feel the same way, he might not. He might need time to process it if he hasn’t thought about it before. Remember, communicating your feelings doesn’t necessarily mean blurting out ‘I love you’. You could start by telling him that you value your relationship and lately you’ve been feeling something more than friendship towards him. Most importantly, realise that whatever happens, it won’t be the end of the world. Yes, it will be awkward if he doesn’t feel the same way. But with time, a strong friendship can weather the storm.
And who knows? He might be feeling the exact same way but is afraid to break the “guys should make the first move” rule. Remember, Maya, love is a risk. But it’s also beautiful, transformative, and worth taking a chance on.
But, that’s just my personal viewpoint. I’ve asked an expert relationship coach to break it down for what it is.
It might provide you with some more context.

“Should A Girl Say I Love You First”: Advice From A Relationship Coach

The Heart of the Matter: Should a Girl Make the First Move?

Okay, lovely, let’s dive deep into that swirling pool of feelings and thoughts you’ve got going on. I get it, you’re sitting there, maybe with your phone in hand, butterflies doing somersaults in your stomach every time *that* person’s name pops up. And that question is dancing around in your head—should a girl say “I love you” first? It’s like a high-stakes game where the rules aren’t clear, right? So here’s the scoop. In our modern world, we like to think we’ve thrown most of the old-school dating ‘rules’ out the window. And yet, this one seems to have stuck around for many people. It’s normal to feel hesitant or unsure about breaking this unwritten code because deep down, it’s not just about three little words—it’s about vulnerability.

The Vulnerability Vault: Unlocking Your Feelings

When you’re contemplating taking that leap and spilling your heart out first, what you’re really wrestling with is opening up your emotional vault to someone else. Telling someone you love them, especially for the first time, is like handing them a key to everything that makes you…you. That takes guts! But let me tell you something—being strong doesn’t mean keeping that vault locked tight; sometimes it means having the courage to unlock it without knowing for sure if they’ve got their key ready too.

The Fear Factor: Rejection or Reciprocation?

It sounds like at the core of this dilemma is fear—fear of rejection or perhaps even fear of what happens if they do say ‘I love you’ back. What if they don’t feel the same way or aren’t ready? Or maybe you’re worried about scaring them off? Let’s be real—the thought alone can send shivers down anyone’s spine. But consider this; expressing your love is also an incredible act of faith in yourself and in what both of you have built together so far. It says more than “I love you”—it says “I trust us.”

Societal Scripts: Flipping Expectations on Their Head

We can’t deny that society has penned quite a few scripts for us when it comes to romance and who should make which move when. Historically speaking, men have been cast as pursuers while women are taught to wait gracefully (and sometimes impatiently) stage left. However—and it’s a big however—we’re seeing these narratives change and evolve as we push towards equality and recognize individuality over tradition. If anything rings true here, it’s this—the right time to express your feelings isn’t determined by gender but by personal readiness and genuine emotion.

Tuning into Trust: Yours and Theirs

Let’s not forget an essential factor here: trust. This isn’t just about trusting them with your feelings but also trusting yourself—to handle their response (whatever it may be), to communicate openly without games or expectations based on outdated norms. Ask yourself—are they creating an environment where openness is met with care? Are both parties cultivating mutual trust where making such confessions feels safe? Your heart will know if there’s fertile ground here or not. Remember my dear—one size does not fit all when it comes to relationships! Every connection between two people writes its own unique story. Feeling empowered enough within yours to be straightforward and honest about how deeply invested emotionally you are—that speaks volumes about where things might be headed.

With Everything That’s Been Said & Done (Or Alluded To 😬), What’s Next?

Considering the Big Leap: Should You Say “I Love You”?

Saying “I love you” is a massive step in any relationship, and it’s normal to wonder if you should be the one to take it. Here’s what you need to know: there are no set rules in modern love. Your feelings are valid and expressing them can be incredibly freeing. However, consider the timing and the foundation you’ve built with your partner. Have you both nurtured a deep connection over time? Are those three little words bubbling up because they’re real for you, or because you feel pressured by societal norms? Remember, saying ‘I love you’ is about sharing your truth, not securing an outcome.

Reading the Room: Gauging Their Response

Gauging your partner’s response before dropping the L-bomb can save some potential awkwardness. Pay attention to their verbal and non-verbal cues when topics of emotion or future plans come up. Do they seem head-over-heels too, or are they more reserved? It’s like trying to feel out if someone’s ready for a high five—you don’t want to leave your heart hanging mid-air! But remember, even if they’re not ready to say it back immediately doesn’t mean your feelings aren’t valued.

Making The Moment Special

If you decide that expressing your love feels right, think about how to make it memorable. This doesn’t mean hiring a skywriter—unless that’s totally your style—but rather finding a moment that feels intimate and true to your relationship. Maybe it’s during a quiet evening together or after sharing laughter over an inside joke. Trust me; when you say “I love you”, doing so in an environment where both of you feel comfortable can make all the difference.

Bracing for All Outcomes

Honesty comes with risks, but also great rewards. When saying “I love you,” prepare yourself for any response—reciprocation, confusion, or even silence—and know that whatever happens next is not solely on you. Relationships are a two-way street; their reaction is about them just as much as yours is about yourself. Keep in mind that if they don’t say it back right away, it does not necessarily reflect on how much they care about or value their time with you—it could just mean they need more time.

Communicating Post-Confession

The moments immediately after expressing those three big words can shape what comes next in your relationship journey together—or apart—and healthy communication is key here! If things didn’t go as hoped and there’s some tension or awkwardness post-confession, discuss it openly without pressuring them into responding or feeling guilty for being honest with yourself. What matters most is maintaining a dialogue based on respect and understanding.

Analyzing Their Reaction Further Down The Line

If time has passed since declaring your love and there’s been no ‘I love you’ echo back from them yet—don’t panic! People process emotions at different speeds and express themselves uniquely.
Look beyond mere words; actions often speak volumes too! Do they show care through actions? Have conversations deepened since then? These signals often indicate their affection better than any premature admission of love ever could.

Moving Forward Together… Or Apart?

No matter where this confession leads—closer together or identifying mismatched feelings—it will be growth-inducing either way.

The courage it takes to reveal one’s heart paves paths either toward deeper union with this person—or toward self-knowledge which primes us for future relationships where mutual adoration flows freely.

In stepping forward with transparency and boldness,

You’ve showcased immense strength regardless of whether this particular ‘I love u’ finds its match; so give yourself credit!

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Deciding whether or not a girl should profess her love first can be daunting. Traditional societal norms suggest that men typically take the lead, but today’s dating landscape is much more fluid and open to personal preference. Love, after all, is about mutual feelings and the courage to express them, isn’t it? If you’re pondering what it means when your partner appreciates you but haven’t heard those three little words yet, exploring what it feels like when a boyfriend says he appreciates you may provide some insight. The question of who should initiate those significant milestones in a relationship often leads to many seeking advice on various scenarios. For example, if a woman is questioning her partner’s commitment due to a lack of progression towards more serious steps such as marriage, then understanding the implications when a boyfriend says no to marriage is critical for making informed decisions about the future. Navigating romantic relationships is rarely straightforward and can sometimes leave one wondering about their partner’s true intentions or feelings. In these moments, having resources like an online toxic boyfriend quiz can be an eye-opener for anyone seeking clarity about the health of their relationship. Recognizing unhealthy patterns early on may help in addressing issues before they escalate. In contrast, hearing ‘I love you’ for the first time from your partner brings with it a wave of emotions and signifies a deepening bond. It’s an intimate milestone that many cherish; thus, reflecting on what happens when your boyfriend says ‘I love you’ for the first time might provide some comfort or relatability to those who have shared such moments. Whether a girl decides to say “I love you” first or waits for her partner is a decision deeply personal and unique to each relationship. The beauty lies in the authenticity of that moment—free from societal expectations—and rooted in genuine connection and heartfelt emotion between partners.

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