What’s Up? What’s The Issue?
Hey there Soul Bonding Love,
Boy, I’ve got a doozy of a dilemma for you. So, I’ve been with my husband now for 15 years. We’ve had our ups and downs but we love each other fiercely. We’ve built a beautiful life together: two beautiful children, an inside joke dictionary thicker than Tolstoy’s War and Peace, and so many precious memories. Honestly, it feels like we’re the heartiest chunk in the soup of life.
However…and brace yourselves ’cause here comes the big BUT… for about the last six months or so, my hubby has been avoiding kissing me on the lips. Yes, you heard that right! He’s an affectionate guy alright; he’ll hold my hands in public, give me a peck on the cheek every morning before work and we even make time once or twice a week to…well you know what married couples do!
But any attempt from my end to initiate a real kiss gets awkwardly deflected into either another cheek kiss or just an enduring hug. Initially I thought maybe it was bad breath (this wasn’t above us!), so I dedicated upped my oral hygiene game but nope! No change there.
I haven’t found lipstick stains on his collars nor have there been any noticeably suspicious behavior of his around other women.
Could it be something medical? But wouldn’t he share that with me? Or could it be some odd new quirk of his? Has our relationship suddenly downgraded to PG-13?
It’s funny but this situation has got me going round half-crazy trying to figure things out between self-doubts and denial flights; from wondering about health reasons to suspecting foul play – only to land each time at dead ends.
Haaaih… (as we say here in Texas)! Any guidance would be much appreciated.
Hopelessly Kiss-starved,
Brandy
The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Gal Pal or Sis…
Here’s what I will say, Brandy,
First off, remember that communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. It seems like you’ve tried to solve this puzzle on your own, but it might be time to bring your husband into the conversation.
Express your feelings without casting blame or making assumptions. Simply state that you’ve noticed a change and it’s causing you some worry. Let him know how much his kisses mean to you and that you miss them.
You’ve mentioned that he’s still showing affection in other ways, so this doesn’t necessarily signify a lack of love or attraction. It might just be that he’s going through something, maybe even unconsciously, and he’s not aware of how it’s affecting you.
Don’t jump to conclusions about infidelity if there’s no other evidence suggesting it. Life is complicated and sometimes, behaviors change due to stresses or anxieties we might not be aware of. It doesn’t always mean there’s someone else.
Consider any changes that might have occurred during this time. Has there been a change in his health? His work? Anything that could possibly lead to anxiety or depression? Even the smallest change can sometimes have significant effects on our behaviors.
Also, remember that a loss of intimacy doesn’t always mean a loss of love. It may just be that he’s struggling with something internally. This isn’t about laying blame on him, it’s about getting to the root of the issue so you both can work towards a solution.
Lastly, consider seeking professional help if necessary. There’s no shame in getting a third-party perspective from a therapist or counsellor. This could provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and concerns.
Remember, Brandy, solutions often come from open conversations. So don’t be afraid to bring this up with him. Good luck!
But, that’s just my personal viewpoint. Let’s actually break it down for what it is.
It might provide you with some more context.
“Why Won’t My Husband Kiss Me On The Lips?”: The Breakdown
Deciphering the Language of Love
The language of love is not always spoken; it’s often expressed through our actions. And sometimes, those actions or lack thereof can lead to insecurities, confusion, and distress. This might be what you’re experiencing right now: Your husband won’t kiss you on the lips.
Unraveling the Meaning Behind His Actions
Your concern seems simple on the surface, but diving deeper reveals layers of complex emotions and potential reasons that could possibly explain your husband’s behavior.
The absence of lip kissing could symbolize a shift in intimacy, which could be provoked by a wide range of reasons. It could be due to physical discomfort – bad breath is a common example – or perhaps he is not feeling well.
There exists also the possibility that he simply doesn’t enjoy lip kissing as much as other forms of affectionate touch.
On a deeper level, it might indicate some sort of emotional distance that has grown between you two. He might be struggling with stress or personal issues that are preventing him from expressing his love adequately.
Navigating Through Emotional Waters
You are not alone in this journey. Many relationships go through phases where intimacy becomes less frequent or changes form. Remember to keep communication channels open and express your feelings honestly with your partner.
It’s possible that your husband may not even realize his actions have been causing you distress, so bringing up these concerns gently can potentially lead to understanding and rectification.
Your Intent Within This Situation
Asking this question shows a longing for connection. You’re yearning for that physical affirmation of love from your husband again – it’s completely natural! Lip-kiss serves as an intimate bond shared between lovers, so what you’re really seeking here is reassurance about his feelings for you.
Potential Solutions You Can Try
I would suggest talking openly to him about how important this gesture is for you within your relationship framework. But remember: every conversation should come from a place of love and understanding rather than blame or anger.
You may also try initiating moments where previously lip-kisses were common (like when saying goodbye in the morning) and observe his reactions carefully.
Sometimes surprising him with a gentle kiss can also spark fond memories and bring back those missing kisses!
Lastly, if all else fails, consider seeking professional help – therapists specialize in these types of miscommunications within relationships.
Just remember: everyone loves differently! Your husband’s lack of lip kisses does not necessarily equate to less love overall. Understanding each other’s unique language will guide both parties towards finding peace amidst these trials. Patience is key here!.
With Everything That’s Been Said & Done (Or Not Said And Not Done), What’s Next?
Opening up: The Importance of Communication
Communication is key in any relationship. If something feels off, it’s time to sit down and have an open, honest discussion with your partner. If you’ve noticed that your husband has been avoiding kisses on the lips, express your worries.
Try not to blame or accuse him, but rather share how his actions make you feel. It’s important to approach this conversation with love and patience – remember this may be just as confusing for him as it is for you.
When Comfort Levels Change
In a long-term relationship like marriage, it’s common for comfort levels to change over time. It could be that your husband doesn’t feel comfortable kissing on the lips right now due to personal, health or emotional reasons.
Once you’ve opened the lines of communication about this issue, a clearer picture should emerge, guiding what you do next.
Nailing Down the Root Cause
Sometimes behavior changes are a symptom of deeper issues within a relationship. Maybe there’s an unaddressed matter that he is upset about or feeling uncomfortable with?
If so, deciphering and addressing these issues will not only help resolve the kissing situation but also strengthen your overall bond.
The Role of Outside Influences
External factors can impact even the smallest aspects of our lives like a simple kiss. Look into his day-to-day living conditions; perhaps stress at work or personal life could be affecting his usual patterns.
Once these influences are identified and dealt with properly, you’ll both reach a better place emotionally.
Pursuing Professional Intervention if Necessary
If after having open conversations things aren’t improving, don’t hesitate to seek professional help – either individually or as a couple. Therapists can provide useful tools for dealing with issues like these.
A third party perspective might just be what you need.
Prioritizing Patience: Healing Takes Time
Change doesn’t happen overnight – especially when it pertains to emotional health and relationships. Be patient with your partner. Allow him space and time if he needs it while making sure he knows you’re there for support.
Maintaining Love: Underneath It All
Remember why you fell in love in the first place – those reasons still exist! Even though not being kissed on the lips by your husband might seem concerning now, this too shall pass. Keep loving each other through every high and low – such trials only make relationships stronger.
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Struggling with why your husband won’t kiss you on the lips can often be a symptom of larger issues in your relationship. A variety of other problems might also arise which could be contributing to these physical barriers.
Communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship; if you’re dealing with a spouse who refuses to open up, visit my husband won’t talk to me for advice on how to handle this issue. This post offers great insight into ways you can encourage open communication in your marriage.
A lack of intimacy could also be due to emotional neglect or withdrawal. If you’re feeling emotionally disconnected, going through the post husband won’t let me talk about my feelings might offer significant help and give you tools on how to bridge the emotional gap.
Moreover, rejection from a spouse can sometimes indicate underlying health issues they are dealing with, that they may feel too embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about.
If your husband is struggling with something like erectile dysfunction and embarrassed to discuss it, check out my husband won’t talk about erectile dysfunction.
Lastly, feeling loved and desired is critical within a relationship. Visit why won’t my husband fight for our marriage, where you’ll find resources and support if you feel like your partner isn’t putting enough effort into making things work.