What’s Up? What’s The Issue?
Hey Soul Bonding Love,
Gosh, I hope you can shed some light on this for me because I’m at my wit’s end here. Like most first-time moms, I’ve been on cloud nine ever since the doctor confirmed our pregnancy.
At around 18 weeks, I felt our little bundle of joy kick for the first time and it was just pure BEAUTY! Since then I’ve been anxiously waiting for my husband ‘Robby’ to feel him too because this is as much his journey as mine, right?
So every night we follow this routine where Robby carefully places his hand on my belly hoping to feel a kick or nudge but it’s been a complete no-show! Not once has our baby kicked when Robby’s hand is there. It’s heartbreaking to see Robby’s face fall each time.
Don’t get me wrong. Baby is active alright, he kicks up storms when daddy isn’t around. He twirls around like crazy inside but as soon as hubby lays his hand on me…our little ninja decides to play hide and seek! Poor Robby’s getting bummed out thinking baby might not like him or something silly like that.
And it’s not for lack of trying either! We’ve tried changing positions, doing it after dinner (someone told us babies are more active then), even played soothing lullabies hoping THAT might get baby’s groove on but nada!
It just feels so strange and honestly a little unfair too? Is something wrong here? Has anybody else experienced this too? HELP!
– Feeling Confused
The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Gal Pal or Sis…
Here’s what I will say, Feeling Confused, the experience you’re having is completely normal. Expecting your first child can be a whirlwind of emotions and experiences, and sometimes things don’t always go as we envision or plan.
It’s not uncommon for babies in the womb to become still or quiet when a hand is placed on the belly, some believe it might be because they feel soothed and safe – not necessarily because they dislike the person whose hand it is.
Do not worry. Babies can’t form likes or dislikes in the womb the way we think of them. What you’re witnessing has nothing to do with your little one’s feelings towards their dad. It’s just baby behaviour, which can often seem odd and inexplicable!
Patience is key here. It’s possible that your baby just needs a bit more time before they start responding to outside stimuli in a noticeable way.
Your husband is not alone in his situation, many dads have had to wait a little longer to feel that first kick. It does not make him any less of a father, nor does it mean he has less of a bond with your baby.
One thing you could try is waiting for a time when your baby is particularly active, then quietly get Robby without saying anything or changing anything about what you’re doing. Sometimes babies react to sudden changes in their environment (like voices, movement, etc.).
Remember, this is your journey together, and every journey has its bumps along the road. But rest assured, once your little ninja is out in the world, there will be plenty of kicks for Robby!
Hang in there! Parenthood is filled with moments of joy, anticipation, confusion and sometimes frustration. Just know that this little hiccup doesn’t define your husband’s future relationship with his child. All will be well!
But, that’s just my personal viewpoint. Let’s actually break it down for what it is. It might provide you with some more context.
“Why Won’t My Baby Kick For My Husband?”: The Breakdown
The Emotional Heartbeat: What’s Really Going On?
First off, it’s essential to really grasp what you’re feeling and why you’re feeling it. Your concern revolves around your baby not kicking for your husband. However, there might be much more beneath the surface of these feelings.
When we say “Why won’t my baby kick for my husband?”, what we might really be expressing is a deeper desire for our partner to connect with the unborn child, and by extension, with us.
It could be a yearning for him to share in our magical journey of creation and feel the same intense bonds that have begun stirring within us.
Longing For Shared Connection
At the heart of it all, this isn’t just about the kicks; it’s about wanting your partner to experience and understand your miraculous journey towards motherhood. When your baby kicks and moves inside of you, it’s an intensely personal experience – one that only you can physically feel.
You want him to emotionally engage with this process as much as you are because sharing those experiences helps build connection and intimacy in relationships.
Fears Of Emotional Distance
The question “Why won’t my baby kick for my husband?” might also reveal underlying fears about emotional distance or disconnect within your relationship.
Perhaps you worry that if he doesn’t experience these tangible reminders of the pregnancy like you do every day, he may not feel as connected or committed.
Recognize those fears but remind yourself: his bond with the baby forms differently than yours since he isn’t carrying them inside him. This neither lessens his affection nor signals an inherent problem in your relationship’s dynamics.
Perspective Check: The Role Of Biology
While emotions are running high (as they understandably do during pregnancy), let’s take a step back and consider biology.
Your little one is growing inside you, not your hubby.This simple biological fact means that babies are more likely to respond to their mother’s movements, sounds, voice vibrations—essentially anything associated directly with their primary environment.
While dads play a crucial role too (hello DNA!), their direct physical interaction starts after birth when they can hold their little one in their arms.
Navigating Unmet Expectations
When we have certain expectations – such as wanting our partners to share every single part of our pregnancy journey – disappointment can arise when reality doesn’t match up.
Keep open lines of communication regarding these feelings without laying blame on either side. Expressing sentiments like “I wish the baby would kick when you touch my belly” instead of “Why won’t my baby kick for you?” eases tensions while allowing space for understanding each other better.
Remember lovebug, this isn’t about assigning fault or guilt; this is about navigating emotional landscapes during one of life’s most transformative periods.
With Everything That’s Been Said & Done (Or Not Said And Not Done), What’s Next?
Feeling Left Out: Your Baby’s Kicks
Dear Reader, we know that it can feel a bit disheartening when your baby won’t kick for your husband. This often happens and it’s totally okay. Emotions can be high during pregnancy and even the little things can seem big.
And, when your partner feels excluded from this magical moment, it can stir up feelings of distance or worry. It’s important to keep in mind that a baby’s movements are irregular, especially in the early stages of pregnancy.
Rather than worry, try to embrace the unpredictability; it’s all part of this amazing journey!
Timing Is Everything: Catching Those Kicks
Babies don’t operate on our schedules. Crazy right? They tend to be most active between 9 p.m. and 1 a.m., as they’re more likely to respond when you’re lying down and relaxing at night (hint hint: movie time?). Encourage your partner to feel for kicks during these peak times.
Should I Worry? If The Baby Doesn’t Kick
Please remember – just because your baby isn’t kicking for your husband doesn’t mean there is anything wrong! The fact is some babies just move less often than others. You should not use movement as the sole indicator of health; regular checkups are paramount here.
If you’ve noticed a serious decrease in overall movement or if you have any concerns, never hesitate to reach out to your healthcare provider!
Finding Connection: Other Ways To Bond
The relationship between dads-to-be and their unborn kiddos isn’t limited to physical contact alone.
Grow closer by involving him in different prenatal activities like attending doctor visits or setting up the nursery together.
Even simple activities such as reading books aloud or playing soft music near your belly can help daddy bond with baby, Bonding isn’t exclusive to mommy.
A New Kind Of Date Night : Patience And Relaxation
Plan some quiet time each day just for daddy-baby bonding. Creating a peaceful environment helps encourage baby movements. Your spouse gets stress-free quality time with his baby-on-the-way, and you get a much-deserved rest!
Making It Fun : Game Time With Baby Bumps
Lighten things up by turning kick-counting into an entertaining game with daddy. This not only engages both parents but lets dad become familiar with what kind of touch triggers movement. A fun game leads to laughter and connection, All while monitoring baby’s activity.
The Wait Is Worth It: Every Kick Counts
Remember that every pregnancy is unique, just like every couple’s journey into parenthood. Your partner may be feeling left out now , but moments like hearing baby’s first heartbeat or seeing them on an ultrasound screen are equally important milestones!
Baby kicking might be sporadic now, But soon enough – they’ll make their grand entrance into the world!
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If your baby isn’t kicking for your husband, you might find it helpful to explore articles that delve into aspects of intimacy and interaction within marriage.
Communication is a crucial aspect in every relationship. It may be the case that your husband needs to establish a deeper bond with the baby. Check out this article, “My Husband won’t Listen to My Needs“. This post shares insights about communication lapses and possible solutions.
In case your husband has difficulty expressing affection physically, you may find the “My Husband Won’t Kiss Me Anymore” article quite insightful.
Is he stressed or depressed? Lack of interaction with the baby could be a symptom of a bigger issue. The article titled “My Husband is Depressed and Won’t Get Help” may provide helpful advice.
Lastly, perhaps the issue might not be with your husband or baby at all, but with how the baby perceives interactions in their environment. The post titled “Dog Won’t Let Me Kiss My Husband” presents situations where pets affect their owner’s relationships and could give you more perspective on how animals (and possibly babies) sense tension or discomfort.
