My Husband Won’t Take Care Of Himself?

What’s Up? What’s The Issue?

Hey there Soul Bonding Love,

I’m writing in with a bit of a tricky situation that’s been weighing on my heart. See, me and the love of my life have been hitched for over 28 beautiful years. We had our struggles and highs, but I wouldn’t trade ’em for anything. You know how they say love is enduring… right?

Lately though, I’ve got this concern that’s spinning round in my head like a carousel horse – out of control – ya know what I mean? My man, from whom you’ll never hear a word of complaint or see him visit to the doctor’s for himself, well he’s not doing so well.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s no stranger to hard work. He labored his whole life in construction- if there was something broken he could fix it or build it better and stronger than before. But lately something else is broken…

His health.

He won’t admit it – always with his tough-as-nails “I can handle it” attitude. But I can see it in his eyes; they ain’t sparkling like they used to do.

He has been skipping meals more often than ever before, dismissing them as “not necessary.” His knees creak and groan louder than our old wooden staircase every time he gets up from his chair. His coughing fits are becoming more frequent… My god…his cough!

His stubborn self just won’t seek any sort of help – says he ain’t gonna put his faith into those “money sucking” doctors.

I’m worried sick about him…about us! I’ve tried reasoning with him, pleading even…but convincing this bull-headed hunk is a task tougher than pulling Excalibur outta that stone… okay maybe not as tough….but you get what I mean?

So here I am… writing to y’all hoping someone might just have some advice on how to deal with an immovable man who won’t see reason when it comes body-care? How do I protect him without suffocating him? Please give your girl some advice…any would be appreciated at this point!

Take care now,
An anxious wife

The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Gal Pal or Sis…

Here’s what I will say, darling:

First of all, it’s evident that you love your man with all your heart and that your concern for him is genuine. That’s beautiful, truly. But girl, let me tell you, sometimes love alone isn’t enough to convince a stubborn mule!

The key here is to slowly but surely make him realize that his health isn’t only about him. It’s about both of y’all; it’s about the love you share and the life you’ve built together. You’re in this together. When he hurts, you hurt. He needs to understand that.

Next step: the issue of doctors. I totally get it. Trusting strangers with something so personal as our health isn’t a walk in the park, but sometimes we have to swallow that pill for the sake of our well-being.

Now, I’m not saying you have to drag him kicking and screaming to the doctor, but there are other ways to get medical advice. Have you thought about online consultations?

They’re less intimidating, more under his control, and they don’t even have to leave the house! I mean, we live in a world where we can get almost anything delivered right to our doorstep. Why not medical advice?

Talking about meals and eating habits, maybe he just needs a nudge towards healthier options? You know what they say—the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Perhaps cook up some of his favorite dishes, just with a healthier twist?

Last but not least, you gotta take care of yourself too, sugar! You can’t pour from an empty cup. Finding support groups or discussing them with friends who might have gone through similar situations can also be a great help.

Remember, love means being strong for each other when one ain’t feeling so strong himself. But it also means knowing where to draw the line and seeking outside help when necessary.

So chin up! You’re stronger than you think, and this too shall pass.

Stay Blessed,
Your Agony Aunt

But, that’s just my personal viewpoint. Let’s actually break it down for what it is.
It might provide you with some more context.

“My Husband Won’t Take Care Of Himself?”: The Breakdown

Decoding the Worry: My Husband Won’t Take Care of Himself

You’re in a place of concern, frustration, and, let’s face it, outright worry. The phrase on your mind is this: “My Husband Won’t Take Care of Himself?”

When you say this, it invokes a myriad of emotions and hidden meanings.

Akin To Neglecting Our Relationship?

When you find yourself lamenting that your husband won’t take care of himself, it isn’t just about his health or habits. It’s more than that. You might be feeling as though if he can neglect himself, then what’s stopping him from neglecting our relationship too?

It breeds insecurity and a sense of being unimportant or secondary in his life. You wonder if the lack of self-care implies a lack of care for everything else.

Is Self-Love Missing?

The heart cries out louder when self-love seems to be missing in our better halves, isn’t it? We understand where you are coming from. You may suspect that your husband not taking care of himself could signify low self-esteem or self-worth issues.

Are these struggles ensuing from work pressures or social situations? Or are they deeper-rooted psychological concerns that need addressing?

These elements are crucial to understand as they don’t just affect him as an individual but also affect interpersonal relationships.

Fear Of Losing Him Too Early?

By not prioritizing his own well-being, he’s indirectly putting yours on the line too. It’s scary to consider losing him prematurely due to health problems that could have been avoided. This fear often remains unsaid but flashes like lightning amidst stormy thoughts.

The Intent Behind Your Concern

Your worry doesn’t stem from anywhere superficial; it’s love at its core. When we love someone deeply, we want what’s best for them – physically and emotionally.

The concern here doesn’t mean you want him dressed up impeccably every day or hitting the gym religiously. Rather you yearn for him to value himself enough to maintain basic physical health and mental wellness.

Acknowledging The Modern Scene

In today’s world when roles aren’t rigidly divided as ‘men bring home the bacon’ & ‘women cook it’, we seek partnerships where responsibilities and pressures can be shared equally.

An unhealthy or disinterested partner puts additional strain on us womenfolk attempting to juggle all balls thrown at us – work stress, children’s demands, household chores and then some!

So darling remember – voicing these concerns doesn’t make you ‘naggy’; rather shows how deeply invested you’re in your relationship.

Your feelings here should not get brushed under the carpet as being overly sensitive; they warrant an open conversation which yields positive changes for both parties.

With Everything That’s Been Said & Done (Or Not Said And Not Done), What’s Next?

Is Your Husband Not Taking Care of Himself? Let’s Talk About That

This situation can be tough. You’re worried, you care, and you just want him to value his health and wellbeing as much as you do. It’s important to remember that it’s not necessarily a reflection on you or your relationship, but more about him and his current mental/emotional state.

Many factors could be contributing here — stress, depression, lack of motivation, or maybe he just doesn’t understand the importance of self-care.

Broaching the Subject: Starting the Conversation

Talking about sensitive topics can feel like walking on eggshells. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Approach him from a place of love and concern rather than criticism.

Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming him (“I am worried about your health” instead of “You’re not taking care of yourself”). This will help keep the conversation non-confrontational.

Making it a ‘We’ Thing: Teamwork in Action

Remember: You’re on the same team! Propose solutions or activities that involve both of you – whether it’s cooking healthier meals together or joining a gym. Shared experiences can help motivate him to look after himself better while also strengthening your bond.

Action Plan: Setting Realistic Goals

It would be great if he turned things around immediately but change rarely happens overnight. Develop an action plan with small, achievable goals (persistence is key!). Remember progress is progress no matter how small.

The Power of Encouragement: Praise His Efforts

Any effort he makes towards self-care should be acknowledged and appreciated. Positive reinforcement works wonders! When he sees his efforts are noticed and appreciated, he’ll likely keep going.

Coping With Resistance: Understanding His Point Of View

If resistance arises (and it might), understand where he’s coming from; perhaps fear of failure or feeling overwhelmed is hindering him (empathy plays a big role here!) Provide reassurance that setbacks are part of the process rather than failures.

Re-evaluating Your Strategy: If Things Don’t Improve

And if things aren’t improving? It may time for some professional help – counselling or therapy might offer fresh perspectives and strategies for both parties involved.

Remember – there’s no shame in seeking outside assistance when dealing with complex issues like these.

If you’re struggling with a spouse who refuses to take care of his health, you may find that other issues are contributing to the problem. Understanding his reluctance could be key to finding a solution and rebuilding your relationship. Here are four posts that might help.

Depression is often an underlying issue for people who neglect their well-being. If your husband seems apathetic or despondent, he could be dealing with emotional pain that’s stopping him from caring about himself. Check out this post about how to handle it when your husband is depressed and won’t get help

Sometimes, a man’s stubbornness comes from feeling misunderstood or unheard by his spouse. If your husband clams up every time you bring up his health, try reading our post on what to do when your husband won’t let you talk about your feelings. This article offers insights into why men sometimes shut down emotionally and provides strategies for opening up communication.

Substance abuse often plays a role in self-neglect as well. If your partner has been drinking more than usual, it could be a sign he’s trying to escape from something—be it physical discomfort, mental distress, or unresolved trauma. Our post on what steps can be taken when your husband won’t stop drinking might provide some helpful advice.

Finally, men can also neglect their health out of fear—fear of judgement, fear of showing weakness, or even fear of facing their own mortality. They might feel overwhelmed by the idea of seeking professional help alone. If this sounds like your situation, explore our article on how to encourage them when your husband won’t go to therapy.