My Ex Said Its Over For Good

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Hey SBL, I’m kind of in a pickle here and really could use some outside perspective on this whole mess. So, long story short, my ex just dropped the bomb and said it’s over for good. Now, I know breakups happen all the time, right? But this feels like I’ve been blindsided by a ten-ton truck – I didn’t even see it coming! I guess I should give you the full picture. We’ve been together for three years, had our ups and downs like anyone else. Lately though, we’ve had a bit more downs than ups… work stress, family drama – you know how it goes. Anyway, last week we had another one of those arguments about not spending enough quality time together. It was nothing out of the ordinary; at least that’s what I thought! But then outta nowhere during dinner yesterday, they hit me with “I can’t do this anymore.” At first I was like “Okay cool off,” because hey, who hasn’t needed a break to chill? But then they added “It’s over for good.” Now here’s where it gets gnarly – there wasn’t any major fight or incident that seemed like a deal-breaker! It’s like one day we’re picking out Halloween couple costumes and the next day I’m getting metaphorically ghosted. Since then I’ve tried reaching out to understand more about why but all attempts are meeting brick walls. No answers to texts or calls – complete radio silence. And you know what stings? Seeing them all cheerful on social media as if our time together meant zilch! SBL fam – am feeling kinda lost here… How do you even begin to heal when the rug’s been yanked from under ya without any forewarning? Part of me thinks maybe they’ll come around but another part is screaming that maybe it really is donezo for us. Do you have any advice on how to cope with an ending that feels so abrupt and final? Any words of wisdom would be mega appreciated. Thanks a bunch, Heartbroken & Confused

The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Friends Or Family Member…

Hey Heartbroken & Confused, The thing to point out here is…the abrupt end to your relationship might feel like a sudden punch to the gut, but it sounds like there were some underlying issues that you might have missed. You mentioned more downs than ups lately, and fights about not spending enough quality time together. Believe it or not, even though you might see these as minor quarrels, they could have been more significant for your ex. Here’s what I will say… the first thing is to respect their decision. They made it clear they wanted to end things. I know it’s hard, especially when the breakup seems from left field, but everyone has a right to their feelings. Arguments and stress pile up over time, maybe this was their tipping point. Now, I get that you’re trying to reach out and seek closure. But babe, sometimes people decide to end relationships without giving the other person the closure they need. It’s tough, but that’s the reality of it. Radio silence can be hard to interpret; it can leave you in a state of limbo. But trust me when I say that no response is a response. By not answering your calls or texts, they’re sending you a message. It’s not the message you want, but it’s one you need to listen to. The main issue here isn’t them though, it’s you. It’s about how you manage this situation and how you take care of yourself. Take this time to focus on self-care and healing. Surround yourself with friends and family who can provide support during this tough time. And as for social media, sweetheart, it’s a highlight reel. People only share what they want others to see; don’t let their posts mess with your head. They may seem happy, but you don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes. I know part of you still clings on to hope that they might come back, and that’s natural. But the other louder part of you – the one screaming that it’s over – that’s the part you need to listen to. Breakups are hard. There’s no denying it. But they’re also an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. Use this painful time to understand what you want out of a relationship, learning from this one so your next one will be healthier and happier. In the end, remember this: people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Maybe your ex was just here for a reason or a season. Whatever it is, respect their decision, focus on your healing, and when you’re ready, move forward. Stay strong, Your friend in tough times
But, that’s just my personal viewpoint. I’ve asked an expert relationship coach to break it down for what it is.
It might provide you with some more context.

“My Ex Said Its Over For Good”: Advice From A Relationship Coach

Let’s break this down, shall we? When an ex-partner declares that **it’s over for good**, it may feel like a door slamming shut with finality. This statement can pack an emotional punch, and understanding its deeper layers requires a bit of unpicking.
**First up, the phrase ‘it’s over for good’** usually signifies a clear intent to end the romantic relationship permanently. There’s a sense of finality here that cannot be ignored. It often means that your ex has reached a point where they believe the relationship cannot be salvaged or is no longer healthy or beneficial for them.
So, what your ex is getting at with such certainty? They’re attempting to communicate their decision in unmistakable terms. No ambiguity, no leaving things open-ended. This level of clarity can sometimes stem from a desire to avoid further pain – both for you and them – by forestalling any false hope of reconciliation.

Decoding The Finality

To understand the possible motives behind this declaration better, one needs to contemplate what might have led them here. Was it a singular event that caused irreparable damage or rather an accumulation of unresolved issues? Perhaps your ex feels they’ve attempted every conceivable route to mend things, but ultimately faced too many dead ends.
In psychological terms, this could also be seen as boundary-setting behavior. Your ex might be trying to protect themselves from further emotional entanglement by putting up this definitive blockade between you two.

The Self-Protection Mechanism

What your ex might mean is that they need space and time to heal without the possibility of sliding back into old patterns that didn’t work out in the first place. In declaring ‘over for good’, they are perhaps trying not just to communicate their decision but also enforce it – both externally with you and internally within themselves.
This could very well be an act of self-care on their part – recognizing what doesn’t contribute positively to their life and taking steps away from it.

Psychological Closure Seeking

On another note, insisting on permanence can also indicate one’s need for psychological closure – something humans naturally seek in order to make sense of events and move on from them constructively. By saying ‘it’s over for good,’ your ex could be giving themselves permission to start processing the end emotionally and cognitively. Closure isn’t just about ending something; it’s about opening up new avenues for personal growth and future happiness as well.

Impact on You: The Receiver

On your end, hearing these words can trigger a range of emotions: shock, sadness, perhaps even denial or anger initially. It’s natural; after all, accepting this kind of stark truth isn’t easy when there were genuine feelings involved. Remember though—while being respectful towards your ex’s boundaries—it’s equally important not only allowing yourself time and space but seeking support if necessary as you navigate through these turbulent times. In today’s modern dating scene understanding how relationships come apart is just as crucial as knowing how they come together. For those going through similar situations—transitions can lead toward rediscovery where resilience gets built step by step amidst reflection. Through this all—it helps immensely leaning upon friends family therapy or other supportive resources because undeniably—it takes strength courage moving forward after hearing ‘it’s over for good’.

With Everything That’s Been Said & Done (Or Alluded To 😬), What’s Next?

Allow Yourself to Grieve the Loss

When my ex broke up with me, it felt like a chapter of my life slammed shut without a proper ending. It’s important to remember that grieving the loss of a relationship is not only normal but necessary. Don’t rush this process and give yourself permission to feel all the emotions that come with such an abrupt ending—sadness, anger, confusion, and even relief at times.

It can be tempting to bottle up these feelings or deny them, but let’s face it, they’re part of your healing journey. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate this tumultuous time. Consider journaling or talking with a trusted friend about what you’re going through. This helps in processing those raw emotions and sets the foundation for moving forward.

Dive Into Self-Care

The end of a relationship often leaves us feeling emptied out. Now’s the time to refill your cup with some top-notch self-care. Think about what brings joy and peace into your life—is it reading, hiking, cooking? Whatever it is that makes you tick, immerse yourself in it.

Physical activities like yoga or running can also be incredibly therapeutic; they release endorphins and help clear your mind. Plus, getting enough sleep and eating well will make sure you’re tackling each day from a place of strength. Remember that taking care of your body is taking care of your mind; when one flourishes so does the other.

Create Some Space Between You and Your Ex

Given that your ex-partner said it’s done, creating distance might just be what you need right now—both physically and digitally. Seeing their happy social media portrayals can twist the knife further into an already painful situation.

Consider taking a break from following their social media accounts or hitting pause on checking up on them online for now—it’s all about self-preservation here! Moreover, reclaiming space where shared memories linger can empower you; rearrange furniture or change up routines slightly to refresh your environment.

Redefine Your Single Identity

When someone tells us “I am finished with you,” we’re often left questioning our own identity without them—it’s totally normal but also an opportunity in disguise. This is crunch time for rediscovering who YOU are outside of any relationship.

Spend some time reflecting on personal goals or hobbies that got put on hold while in the relationship—now’s the chance to pursue them! Also consider trying new things; maybe there’s a class or group activity that’s piqued interest before but never explored? Dive headfirst into life as an individual—it can be incredibly liberating.

Talk It Out When You’re Ready

The absence after hearing “No chance of getting back together” can echo loudly in our minds—we naturally want closure from our significant relationships when they come to an end.

If after some time has passed—and emotions have settled—you still feel inclined to understand more about why things ended as they did (and if no harmful dynamics are involved), write down what questions still linger for you then consider reaching out calmly for conversation if they’re open—a respectful dialogue could offer clarity for both parties involved.

Foster Other Relationships

After hearing my ex say “it’s over for good,” it’s easy to retreat inwardly—but don’t overlook the other valuable connections present in life! Family members & friends can provide immense support during times like these.

Lean into these relationships; allow yourself to be taken care by those who love & value you unconditionally Building upon existing friendships & family ties doesn’t just fill voids left by lost loves—they enrich our lives wholly adding depths beyond romantic entanglements

Celebrate Growth From Lessons Learned

It may sound cliché but every ‘permanent breakup’ comes its own set lessons No matter how rocky road was there will always something take away growth moment Reflect what patterns worked well which ones didn’t What would differently next How have grown even midst heartache These revelations pave way wiser stronger version future relationships Love might paused moment learning never stops Celebrate small victories healing progresses—it’s proof resilience triumphs

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Breaking up can be a tough, emotionally charged process, and hearing “my ex said it’s over for good” might leave you feeling adrift. It’s not uncommon to seek answers or try to make sense of where things went wrong. If you feel like you may have pushed your partner away, understanding the dynamics that lead to such a situation can be crucial. For insights into how one might inadvertently distance their significant other, exploring articles on relationship dynamics can offer some perspective. In the wake of a breakup, you might also wonder if there were misunderstandings along the way. Perhaps your girlfriend thought you wanted to break up when your intentions were quite the opposite. Navigating these miscommunications is vital in understanding relationship woes. To shed light on this, some find it helpful to read about common misconceptions that arise in relationships. Trust and financial stability are other common areas of contention between partners. If you’re grappling with accusations or suspicions from an ex-boyfriend who believes you were with him for financial gain, it’s essential to reflect on those aspects of your partnership. Delving deeper into these sensitive issues might require looking into resources that touch upon the complexities of love and money; perhaps starting with stories from others who have been through similar experiences could help, such as reading how others have navigated accusations by checking out relevant discussions online. Emotional reactions during a relationship can also come under scrutiny, particularly if one partner feels the other is too sensitive or reactive. If your boyfriend indicated that he found it challenging because he felt you get upset too easily, exploring ways to manage emotions could be beneficial for future interactions, either with him or future partners. Resources that offer guidance on emotional regulation in relationships may provide valuable insight into such scenarios; finding advice on this topic isn’t difficult with articles designed to help understand and cope with emotional sensitivity available at the click of a button. Lastly, fidelity is another cornerstone of most romantic relationships—and dealing with its breach can be heartbreaking. If you’ve been told by your boyfriend that he’s been unfaithful, deciding what steps to take next is often confusing and painful. Knowing others have faced similar dilemmas can be comforting; seeking out shared experiences where people discuss their reactions and coping strategies when dealing with infidelity can lend some clarity—for instance, by reading about what steps others suggest taking after such an upsetting revelation through accounts like stories from those who’ve faced infidelity.

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