“Does My Boyfriend Deserve Me”: How to Evaluate Your Relationship’s Worth and Recalibrate the Balance

What’s Up? What’s The Issue?

Hey Soul Bonding Love, Ahhh, you wouldn’t believe the cyclone spinning around my head right now. It’s about my boyfriend, Jake, so let me give you the rundown. He’s a good guy – cute too! But lately I’ve been wondering if he really deserves me. We’ve been together for about a year and half now—it started off great! We met at a friend’s BBQ and instantly hit it off. He asked me out right there! We had such a good time; laughing, dancing, sharing dreams about traveling the world. He was so open and sweet—I truly thought I’d found my forever person. In beginning stages of our relationship, he would text me all day long; we’d meet up after work for impromptu dates—dinner, movies or just watching sunset by the beach. He even started planning weekend trips together—hiking adventures or city escapades! But here’s where tides turned- A few months back Jake lost his job. Initially he said it was due to staff cuts & I totally supported him through it; boosted his confidence; helping him apply to jobs and cheering him up during those late-night panicky tears. Slowly though, things began to change; our once vibrant conversations turned bland with talks only about his job hunt or lack thereof – we stopped going on those exciting dates citing financial difficulties which I completely understood but then again isn’t love not just about spending money but making beautiful memories together? The latest blow though came when he cancelled our much-planned vacation last month because according to him “it’s best considering circumstances”, exchanging our dreamy beach holiday with job applications deadlines! I’ve tried my best to be understanding—I really have. Love isn’t always easy street right? But lately I’ve started feeling like am investing myself more in relationship than he is in return—like am prioritizing us while he is pinning everything on ‘right time’. While figuring out life is totally okay initially his warmth seems to be fading away completely- it has become all about ‘him’ rather than ‘us’. Has that loving feeling disappeared away in turmoil? Does that make sense? It gets confusing when everyone around us keeps saying how lucky Jake is for having someone patient & loving like me by his side—a confidence booster sure but also got me thinking if this uneven balance of effort put into relationship by both sides is fair? Is this what love looks like? Do we ever consider whether someone actually deserves us..or are we just blinded by love? Does my boyfriend actually deserve me? Slightly confused, Nina

The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Little Sis…

If you were my little sis, here’s what I’d tell you:

First and foremost, it’s totally normal to question your relationship, everyone does it once in a while. It shows you’re aware of your needs, which is a good thing! But let’s address your concerns head on.

The spot Jake is currently in—a job loss—is tough for anyone. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy and depression, which can ripple into relationships. So his changed behaviour may not necessarily be about you or the love he has for you but more about his own personal struggles.

However, that being said, a relationship is always a two-way street. You’re right—regardless of money issues, there are ways to spend time together without having to splurge. So if he isn’t making an effort there anymore,—it could be a red flag.

The key here though is communication. Have a talk with him about how you’re feeling. Let him know that it seems like things have become more about ‘him’ than ‘us’, but also give him an opportunity to explain himself — maybe he has some reasons that he hasn’t discussed yet.

It’s important though Nina; remember – love doesn’t mean losing yourself or always being the one who sacrifices. Everyone deserves someone who’s willing to put in as much effort as they are—so ask yourself:
“Does my boyfriend actually deserve me?”
It’s not selfish— its self-respect. Take some time alone if needed; think deeply on what makes YOU happy and how YOU want your relationship to look like because ultimately love isn’t just about making other person happy but also about mutual respect & understanding.
A relationship should complement your life, not complicate it—don’t forget that sweetie!
Here’s sending lots of sisterly love and strength your way! Let’s get a deeper analysis, though…

The Core of the Concern: “Does my boyfriend deserve me?”

When you’re asking yourself, “Does my boyfriend deserve me?” at the heart of it could lie a variety of emotions. You might be feeling undervalued, taken for granted, or simply emotionally exhausted. It’s pivotal to understand that this question is not about devaluing your partner but a reflection of your self-worth in comparison to how your relationship currently stands.

Digging Deeper: Identifying the Source

First off, you are valid in feeling this way and it’s important that we recognise where these feelings are coming from. Do they stem from constant disagreements and fights? Or perhaps you feel like you’re putting more into the relationship than what’s being reciprocated back? Feelings can be messy and complicated but understanding their origins can help us move forward.
Are there specific instances or behaviours that have triggered these thoughts? Identifying them will allow us to analyse if they are isolated incidents or if there’s a consistent pattern that needs addressing.

Perspective Check: Evaluating Your Worth

The question, “Does my boyfriend deserve me?” states volumes about how highly you rate yourself (and rightly so!). You clearly value yourself enough to realise when something isn’t right in your relationship and seeking advice shows maturity on your behalf too. Kudos!
By asking this question, you’ve shown that you acknowledge your worth. The real discussion here becomes whether or not he reciprocates this acknowledgement.

Redefining Balance: Recalibration Time

If indeed there is an imbalance in effort and emotional investment between both parties involved, it might be time for some serious conversation – reassessment and recalibration. We call it ‘recalibration’ as it implies fine-tuning rather than a complete overhaul; because let’s face it – nobody’s perfect!
Talk openly about how you feel with him and listen carefully to his side too. Remember not to dismiss his feelings either – communication should always be two-way.
Note down what yo’d like more from him – respect, love, time? This will serve as clear indicators during conversation with him about where things need tweaking.
Ultimately, love is never about tallying who does more for whom; but rather about mutual respect and appreciation towards each other.

Navigating Modern Dating Waters

Remember sweetie, modern dating can sometimes feel like navigating through turbulent waters: baffling and overwhelming all at once! With social media portraying ‘perfect relationships’, we often tend forget every couple has their share of ups-and-downs! In such times tools such as introspection followed by an open, honest communication can act as lifeboats steadying us amidst the stormy seas. Surely now we understand why the query “Does My Boyfriend Deserve Me?” rings close for many of us. However darling remember – YOU decide who deserves YOU rather than other way round!

Does My Boyfriend Deserve Me: What Next?

What was said has been said… so what next?

Recognizing Your Worth

There’s an old saying that rings true: You can’t pour from an empty cup. This applies to you, dear reader. Before we delve into the dynamics of your relationship, it’s crucial you acknowledge your worth. You’re invaluable, and you deserve a partner who sees and appreciates that. Self-doubt can easily cloud judgement, so ensure to step back, take a breath,
and remember your self-worth is not dictated by your relationship status.

Pulling Apart Behavior Patterns

Now let’s analyze his behavior patterns. Identify situations that have caused distress – note down examples of both good and bad moments in the relationship. Ask yourself if these are consistent or one-off occurrences.
A single mistake might be forgiven; repeated offenses however? That’s another story.

Evaluating His Respect For You

Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Does he speak to you kindly? Does he honor your boundaries? Your needs? Is he considerate of your feelings?
If the answers lean towards ‘no’, then it’s time for some serious reconsideration about whether this is the kind of love you deserve.

Weighing Out The Love Vs Sacrifice Ratio

Everyone must compromise at times in relationships; however, there should never be a constant sacrifice on only one side.
Are you consistently putting his needs before yours?
The give-and-take ratio should be balanced!

Gauging Emotional Availability

Does he share his thoughts with you? Or does everything feel surface level?
A genuine connection requires emotional vulnerability from both parties.If walls are always up on his end, it may be time to question if he’s right for you.

Taking Account Of Your Happiness

Your happiness is non-negotiable.
If tears are more common than smiles due to him,it’s not a sign of love – it’s toxic.
Show yourself kindness because no one deserves to feel devalued frequently in their relationship.

Muster The Courage And Have A Conversation

Once all this reflection has taken place, have an open conversation with him about how his actions make you feel.
This talk could determine which path the relationship takes.
If still uncertain or things don’t improve post-conversation,talking to a professional could help.

You Might Need To Go In Another Direction…

The truth is, all relationships require work and continuous communication. I’ve been there, feeling like I’m struggling, but not knowing exactly why. What if I told you there’s a fun and interactive way to gain clarity on what you’re looking for in a relationship?

Meet the Dating Connect Card Game.

For me, this game isn’t just about having fun.

It’s a comprehensive guide that covers all aspects of dating, from that initial flutter in your stomach to the hard work of building a long-lasting relationship.

What I love about it is the range of questions and prompts. It’s like having a relationship coach right there on your coffee table.

But it’s not all just fun and games. This game is backed by science, incorporating techniques used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and mindfulness.

It pushes you to reflect on your own values, priorities, and preferences.

I’ve also found that in the process, I’ve gained a greater clarity about what I’m looking for in a partner and what I have to offer.

Here’s the best part…

With each game purchased, a part of the profits is donated to Feeding America. So while you’re discovering more about yourself and relationship, you’re also contributing to a good cause! 👌

Perfect for any occasion, I’ve found the Dating Connect Card Game to be the perfect gift for dads, boyfriends, and couples, whether it’s Father’s Day, an anniversary, or just a regular Tuesday. It’s more than just a game, it’s a tool for communication, a love language translator, and a heartfelt gesture, all in one neat package.

Further Advice…

Justifying the worthiness of your partner can be quite challenging at times. If you are questioning if your boyfriend deserves you, you might be dealing with a variety of issues in your relationship. Having clarity about these problems can help you decide better. For instance, if he has kissed another girl, it’s essential to address the issue promptly and discern the underlying reasons for his action.
Furthermore, if he mentions about your bad breath, instead of taking offense, use it as an opportunity for self-improvement and better oral health care.
A vital aspect of a relationship is communication and respect. Has he ever said that it should always be his way in your relationship? It’s crucial to balance respect and independence to ensure a healthy and thriving partnership.
And finally, it can hurt deeply if your boyfriend states that his heart isn’t in the relationship anymore. It might indicate that he has emotionally disconnected from the relationship, which needs immediate attention and resolution.
Remember to read each situation objectively while maintaining respect for yourself and him during these moments. Take time to analyze these linked articles carefully as they will provide deeper insight into how you can manage such situations maturely.

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