Is My Partner Gaslighting Me? 6 Signs To Look Out For And What To Do Next

What Is Gaslighting?

Gaslighting? Oh, it’s the mental marathon you never signed up for. Imagine someone flipping the script on your reality so much that you start questioning if you’re the one who’s not seeing things straight. It’s like being a character in your own psychological thriller, but without the popcorn and comfy seats. This tactic isn’t just shady; it’s a full-blown manipulation technique that can leave you scratching your head, wondering if up is down and left is right.

Born from a 1938 play that turned the simple act of dimming lights into a mind-bending plot, gaslighting has stepped out from the stage and into the real world, proving you don’t need gas-powered lamps to mess with someone’s perception. The modern-day gaslighter isn’t likely to fiddle with the lighting to make you question your sanity. Instead, they’ll play it cool, dropping subtle hints and making small moves that leave you doubting your own experiences and feelings. Recognizing the signs is step one in calling out the game and taking back control of your narrative.

So, what does this mean for you? If your gut’s telling you something’s off and you find yourself wondering if you’re in a gaslighting tango, trust those instincts. The trick isn’t about catching someone in the act—it’s about acknowledging your reality is yours, and no one gets to rewrite it but you.

Signs Of Gaslighting

Gaslighting is that twisted game where someone makes you doubt your own sanity. It’s subtle, it’s damaging, and it’s vital to spot the signs before you lose your footing in your own reality.

Here’s the lowdown on the six major red flags that scream you might be getting gaslit:

  1. When your partner trivializes how you feel or what you’ve experienced, painting your emotions as overreactions, that’s a huge alert. They’re not just being insensitive; they’re trying to make you mistrust your feelings.
  2. If they’re playing tricks on your memory, insisting events didn’t happen as you remember, it’s a manipulation tactic. It’s not about a bad memory; it’s about controlling your perception of reality.
  3. Watch out for the confusion game—where their words and actions don’t match, leaving you unsure of what’s real. This isn’t just indecisiveness; it’s a strategy to keep you off-balance.
  4. Feeling cut off from your friends and family? That’s isolation at work. It’s not about wanting more quality time; it’s about removing your support network, making you more dependent on them.
  5. Constant criticism and placing blame squarely on your shoulders for everything that goes wrong is about eroding your self-esteem. This relentless negativity isn’t about helping you improve; it’s about keeping you subdued.
  6. And if abusive language or behavior comes into play, it’s a clear sign of gaslighting. This isn’t just about venting frustration; it’s about intimidation, designed to keep you in a state of fear and compliance.

Recognizing these signs is critical. It’s not just about identifying problematic behavior; it’s about understanding the tactics used to keep you in a fog of doubt. Knowledge is your power here, and with it, you can start to navigate your way out of the gaslight and into clarity.

How To Deal With Gaslighters

When gaslighting casts shadows on your reality, causing you to question your perceptions and memories, it’s a signal to take action. This form of emotional manipulation can deeply affect your mental health and well-being. If you’re facing such challenges, it’s crucial to adopt measures that safeguard your inner peace and mental clarity.

Opening up to a trusted individual is your first step towards breaking the cycle of manipulation. Sharing your experiences with someone who listens empathetically can validate your feelings and reinforce your trust in your own reality.

Following this, engaging with a mental health professional, particularly one experienced in dealing with emotional abuse, can provide the structured support you need. These experts can guide you through understanding and healing from the manipulation, laying down the foundation for your recovery journey.

Where To Get Help


Establishing clear boundaries
with the gaslighter is essential. Articulate your limits firmly and consistently to signal that manipulative behaviors are unacceptable. This act of self-assertion is critical for your emotional recovery and for regaining control over your life.

If you’re feeling isolated or struggling, reaching out for help is a step towards healing.

Numerous resources are available, from mental health providers to online platforms offering information and community support. These resources provide valuable insights and connect you with others who have faced similar situations, offering comfort and advice.

Persistence in your healing journey is key. By adhering to your plan for recovery and personal growth, you’re not just surviving; you’re moving towards a brighter, self-defined future. Embrace each step forward, knowing that with time, you’ll rebuild a sense of self that’s resilient against manipulation.

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