What’s Up? What’s The Issue?
Hey Soul Bonding Love, So, okay, here’s the scoop. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two years now. It’s been a pretty sweet ride so far – he’s romantic, thoughtful, very handsome and generally very supportive. I mean, who else would put up with my obsession over crime drama reruns, right? Anyway, recently we’ve just moved in together. We’ve been cooking up storms and well of course along with it came the Netflix binges on Saturday evenings with junk food and late-night ice-cream extravaganzas. That has to be my favorite part – it’s always so much fun and we’ve really bonded over these moments. But a few weeks back something happened that left me kinda shocked and upset too. He straight up told me that I’m getting fat! Can you believe it? Just like that! We were having dinner –one of his favorites- lasagna (I know not the healthiest!) when mid-bite he drops this bomb on me. I tried to laugh it off at first but then realized he was dead serious about it! Now let me tell you – I am by no means thin nor have I ever pretended to be a fitness queen or anything but come on! We’ve got an ongoing pandemic keeping us inside our homes more than we’d like , and instead of understanding the situation he tells me ‘you need to lose weight’. He claims he is concerned about my health but honestly his words stung more than anything. So what am I supposed to do now? Am I overreacting in feeling hurt or is this just how men are? How do I communicate with him about how much this has hurt me without offending him or making things even worse for our relationship? Need your advice! Signed, Suddenly Self-Conscious
The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Little Sis…
If you were my little sis, I’d tell you first and foremost: your feelings are completely valid. It’s definitely not cool to have comments like that thrown at you, especially when they’re so out of the blue. You are not overreacting, honey.Let’s break this down. We all know it’s important to maintain a healthy lifestyle for our personal well-being but let’s face it, pandemic living has hit us hard. Many of us have put on some extra pounds and that’s totally okay.
But the thing here is – your boyfriend told you out of nowhere that you’re getting fat. His approach? Not cool whatsoever! Criticism without compassion doesn’t reflect concern, it reflects insensitivity.
The way he said it may be ‘typical guy’ behavior, but please don’t accept this as a norm because it’s not! Some people might struggle with tactfulness or understanding how their words can hurt others – even those who mean well.
Your next move? Open communication is key in every relationship. Talk to him about how his comment made you feel. Be honest but gentle – express your feelings without attacking his character.
Remember you’re not trying to start an argument, just a conversation about understanding and respect in your relationship. He should know that his words can leave scars too!
Give him a chance to explain himself, to apologise or clarify his intentions- maybe he really did mean well and just came off wrong?
Surely if he cares about you as much as he seems to from what you’ve shared before – a heart-to-heart talk might be exactly what’s needed.
And finally Sis, take care of yourself for yourself! If losing weight is something YOU want for YOUR health then by all means go for it. But never let anyone dictate how you should look or feel about your body! Let’s get a deeper analysis, though…
My Boyfriend Said I’M Getting Fat: What Next?
What was said has been said… so what next?1. Coming to Terms with the Comment
First things first, give yourself a moment to let his words sink in. It’s never easy when someone you care about criticizes your appearance. Even if it’s completely unintentional, it might hurt or make you feel self-conscious. It’s okay to feel upset, but remember that his opinion is not the be-all and end-all of your worth. You are beautiful just the way you are.
2. Navigating Your Feelings
Naturally, you’re going to have some feelings about this comment – and that’s totally valid! But remember, everyone is entitled to their feelings just as much as they’re entitled to their opinions. Your emotions are your power. Use them as motivation rather than letting them get you down.
3. Talking Things Over
A crucial step in dealing with this scenario is having an open conversation with him about it. Express how his comment made you feel and why it bothered you so much.The key here is communication. Make sure it doesn’t become an argument, but a discussion where both parties listen and understand each other.
4. Fostering Mutual Respect
We’re all flawed human beings who make mistakes sometimes – even your boyfriend is no exception! If he understands where he went wrong on this one and sincerely apologizes for causing any hurt or upset, then there’s hope in fostering mutual respect.
5. Making Decisions for Yourself (Not Anyone Else!)
Your body works hard every day to keep you healthy and moving – celebrate it for what it does rather than how it looks! If after everything said and done, gaining weight stands as something that bothers YOU personally- then by all means consider incorporating healthier habits into your lifestyle for YOURSELF alone – not because of any external pressure from your partner or anyone else.
6: Redefining Beauty Standards
Society’s idea of beauty continues changing over time but ultimately what truly matters is how YOU see yourself.“Beauty”/“fit”/etc., isn’t about being thin; rather maintaining optimal health while being comfortable in one’s skin.
.‘You do You’, because beauty truly does come in all shapes and sizes!‘7: ‘Acceptance & Moving Forward’:
If after discussing the issue at hand openly honestly he acknowledges his mistake & pledges sensitivity towards such issues hereafter-it’d be fair move past incident avoid harping on past bitterness.
.You Might Need To Go In Another Direction…
The truth is, all relationships require work and continuous communication. I’ve been there, feeling like I’m struggling, but not knowing exactly why. What if I told you there’s a fun and interactive way to gain clarity on what you’re looking for in a relationship?
Meet the Dating Connect Card Game.
For me, this game isn’t just about having fun.
It’s a comprehensive guide that covers all aspects of dating, from that initial flutter in your stomach to the hard work of building a long-lasting relationship.
What I love about it is the range of questions and prompts. It’s like having a relationship coach right there on your coffee table.
But it’s not all just fun and games. This game is backed by science, incorporating techniques used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and mindfulness.
It pushes you to reflect on your own values, priorities, and preferences.
I’ve also found that in the process, I’ve gained a greater clarity about what I’m looking for in a partner and what I have to offer.
Here’s the best part…
With each game purchased, a part of the profits is donated to Feeding America. So while you’re discovering more about yourself and relationship, you’re also contributing to a good cause! 👌
Perfect for any occasion, I’ve found the Dating Connect Card Game to be the perfect gift for dads, boyfriends, and couples, whether it’s Father’s Day, an anniversary, or just a regular Tuesday. It’s more than just a game, it’s a tool for communication, a love language translator, and a heartfelt gesture, all in one neat package.
Further Advice…
If your boyfriend has made comments about your weight, it’s essential to address it. Start a conversation about how his words have affected you and try to express your feelings in a constructive way. If you’re unsure of how to approach this discussion, we’ve outlined some guidance in our post titled “My Boyfriend Told Me To Lose Weight”.Often, such criticisms are indicative of bigger issues within the relationship. It could be a sign that he doesn’t respect you or values physical appearance over emotional connection. If this is the case, it might be beneficial to look at our article on “My Boyfriend Said He Can Do Better Than Me” for clarity.
During these turbulent times, self-esteem can plummet, which can lead to feeling unlovable or unwanted. Encountering such feelings? Our post “My Boyfriend Said I’m Hard To Love” can provide helpful insights on overcoming these struggles.
Remember, everyone deserves respect and love in their relationships. If you need an uplifting reminder of this crucial factor, please feel free to visit our blog titled “My Boyfriend Said I’m The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Him”. It serves as a powerful message that everyone has unique qualities making them invaluable in their own right.
