What’s Up? What’s The Issue?
Hey Soul Bonding Love,
This is one for the books, I guess… or maybe your email box. My name’s Janie, by the way.
So here’s my thing. My boyfriend and I have been going strong for about five months now. He’s pretty amazing. He writes me poetry, sets up candlelit dinners just because, and ever since we started dating he’s spontaneously learned to make incredible homemade pasta (I LOVE pasta). Overall things have been moving at a good pace— steady but not too fast.
But there’s something he does that has puzzled me recently… a term he uses that is cute and flattering on some days but downright bewildering on others.
He said it for the first time last month while we were watching an episode of our favorite series in bed—like just another casual Netflix night. In the midst of our episode-induced laughter, out of the blue, he turned to me seriously and said: “You know what babe? I crave you.”
His eyes were so intense when he said it; it was as if his love for me in that moment was somehow a painful hunger. I laughed it off then because his words had interrupted our blissful popcorn munching moment not fitting with any context or conversation we were having at that time.
He’s mentioned this craving deal several times since then though— sometimes when we’re sitting silently staring at the sunset together or when we’re sneaking kisses near corners of deserted streets.
I want to say it doesn’t bother me but honestly, sometimes it leaves me feeling slightly uncomfortable—a little too much in demand maybe? Is this normal? Does him craving me mean he wants more than usual?
I’m worried about this creating unnecessary drama between us because otherwise things are going so great! But do you think I should talk about my discomfort with him? Or am I overthinking this completely?
Need your help on how to navigate this erratic emotional sea called love.
Much love,
Janie
The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Little Sis…
If you were my little sis…
The first thing I’d tell you is to breathe. It’s okay to feel uncomfortable or confused about something your partner says — especially when it’s a term like “craving” that can have a lot of different meanings. Crucially, remember that communication is key in any relationship. It’s not about overthinking, rather, it’s about understanding each other better.
This said, let me tell you something: in relationships, people say things they don’t necessarily mean literally – like calling each other “baby” when clearly we aren’t infants! Similarly, his “I crave you” could simply be a deeply affectionate way of saying how much he loves having you around and how he values your presence.
But here’s the thing. It doesn’t matter if everyone else in the world thinks this is adorable or normal. If it’s making you uncomfortable because it feels like too much pressure or demand on you—or for any reason at all—then it’s worth addressing.
Don’t worry about creating drama by bringing this up. Expressing how you feel isn’t starting drama; it’s maintaining a healthy relationship. Consider telling him that while you appreciate his sentiments (because honestly Janie, spontaneous pasta and sunset silence are precious!), the ‘craving’ comment makes you feel slightly on edge.
Maybe suggest alternative ways he can express his affection? And reassure him (because reassurance matters!) that this conversation doesn’t signify any less love from your side – just trying to build better understanding and comfort between the two of ya!
In the erratic emotional sea called love—remember to keep your own life jacket handy. You got this Janie!
Remember, no harm ever came from being honest and open in a loving relationship.
Let’s get a deeper analysis, though…
Decoding the ‘Craving’
Okay, let’s start with what your boyfriend means when he says he craves you. It’s not an everyday expression, right? Well, when someone confesses they ‘crave’ another person, it usually suggests an intense longing that goes beyond just physical attraction. This could be a craving for your company, your attention, your mind, or even simply the way you make him feel.
Remember though; this isn’t a one-dimensional explanation and everyone is unique in their feelings and expressions. But generally speaking, if he didn’t care deeply about you in some form or another, he wouldn’t use such strong words.
Tackling Feelings of Unease
Reading between the lines here – ‘He says he craves me but we’re having relationship troubles’ – I sense that maybe these intense emotions could feel overwhelming for you? It’s okay to feel confused or uncertain, these are pretty big feelings to navigate.
If things have been rocky between you two lately, his confession might bring up mixed feelings. Is this craving healthy? Is it causing him (or both of you) distress? It’s important to recognize if there are any red flags like obsessiveness or dependence because love should never feel suffocating.
The Importance of Open Communication
Honest communication is key in any relationship and particularly so here because your boyfriend is expressing strong feelings towards you. You need to talk about what he means when he says ‘he craves you’.
Ask him gently but directly: What does craving mean for him? Does it make him happy or anxious? How does this craving affect his day-to-day life? These questions can help both of you understand where he’s coming from and what his intentions might be.
It may also be good for you to express how his words made YOU feel – whether they excited or scared you – your feelings matter just as much! The point is not just understanding each other better but also making sure that everyone feels respected and heard in the relationship.
Nurturing Desire in a Relationship
Desire can be a fabulous thing! It adds passion and excitement into a relationship. However, managing that desire well is crucial without letting it consume either party.
To nurture this desire effectively within your relationship could involve setting boundaries that work for both parties – emotionally AND physically – so neither feels overwhelmed by intensity nor neglected due to lack thereof. Practice mutual respect by ensuring neither partner feels pressured into anything they’re uncomfortable with.
Also explore new ways to keep the spark alive such as occasional surprises; sharing experiences like hobbies or interests; simple gestures like leaving small notes of love around; dedicating quality time together even amidst mundane routines– all these help fan those flames!
Really listen out during your talks and discussions about desires/cravings- not only will it reveal more about who YOU are as individuals but also how compatible those individual desires are within YOUR unique partnership. Be aware of each other’s needs without losing oneself in the process.
In a nutshell sweetie: Careful navigation through intense emotions whilst fostering respect & open communication will go a long way towards helping evolve not only HIS desire but YOUR collective bond genuinely & healthily.
Remember though: perfection doesn’t exist so embrace imperfections & learnings as part-and-parcel of trusting vulnerable journeys called ‘relationships’.
My Boyfriend Says He Craves Me: What Next?
What was said has been said… so what next?
How Should You React to His Cravings?
Reacting to your boyfriend’s cravings is not as straightforward as it may seem. If this is the first time he’s shown this level of desire, it might take you by surprise. Don’t let confusion cloud your judgment. Take a deep breath and remember that simple, honest communication can help you understand the situation better. Ask him what he means by craving and how it impacts his feelings for you.
Finding Balance Between Desire and Respect
Your boyfriend expressing his strong desire for you might make things exciting or uncomfortable, depending on the circumstances. It’s important to find a balance between encouraging his attraction and ensuring that he respects your boundaries. Your comfort matters, so don’t shy away from discussing your feelings about his cravings.
Identifying Your Own Feelings
In the midst of all this new information about your boyfriend’s cravings, don’t forget to check in with yourself. Do his words excite or unnerve you? Recognizing these emotions is vital because it defines your reaction . Your feelings may range from excitement to discomfort, but they’re valid regardless of where they fall on that spectrum.
Talking About Boundaries in Your Relationship
Remember, every healthy relationship has boundaries – both emotional and physical ones. Ensure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to these limitations.
Acknowledging each other’s boundaries serves as the cornerstone for mutual respect.
Pacing Yourself: Timing Matters Too!
No matter how intense things get in a relationship, pacing yourself keeps anxieties at bay.
Maintaining steady progress helps sustain long-term relationships.
The allure of rushing into things might be tempting but give yourselves time to grow into comfortability with each other’s desires.
Evaluating His Actions Besides His Words:
Saying ‘I crave you’ is one thing but actions speak louder than words. Keep an eye out for signs that he genuinely respects and values you as an individual.
The way he treats you should align with his declarations of desire.
Counseling: Seeking Help When Needed
If navigating through this becomes overwhelming,
consider seeking advice from an expert such as a counselor.
Counseling often provides insights into relationship dynamics.
A neutral third party perspective can guide both of you towards understanding each other better.
You Might Need To Go In Another Direction…
The truth is, all relationships require work and continuous communication. I’ve been there, feeling like I’m struggling, but not knowing exactly why. What if I told you there’s a fun and interactive way to gain clarity on what you’re looking for in a relationship?
Meet the Dating Connect Card Game.
For me, this game isn’t just about having fun.
It’s a comprehensive guide that covers all aspects of dating, from that initial flutter in your stomach to the hard work of building a long-lasting relationship.
What I love about it is the range of questions and prompts. It’s like having a relationship coach right there on your coffee table.
But it’s not all just fun and games. This game is backed by science, incorporating techniques used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and mindfulness.
It pushes you to reflect on your own values, priorities, and preferences.
I’ve also found that in the process, I’ve gained a greater clarity about what I’m looking for in a partner and what I have to offer.
Here’s the best part…
With each game purchased, a part of the profits is donated to Feeding America. So while you’re discovering more about yourself and relationship, you’re also contributing to a good cause! 👌
Perfect for any occasion, I’ve found the Dating Connect Card Game to be the perfect gift for dads, boyfriends, and couples, whether it’s Father’s Day, an anniversary, or just a regular Tuesday. It’s more than just a game, it’s a tool for communication, a love language translator, and a heartfelt gesture, all in one neat package.
Further Advice…
When your boyfriend says he craves you, it can be a great feeling, but it’s essential to understand the various undertones that such a statement might hold. Navigating the complex emotional landscape of relationships can be tricky, but luckily, we have some relevant articles that can help.
If you’re curious about where this craving might stem from, you may want to check out our post on how to make your relationship thrive which discusses how your presence might be providing him with a sense of stability and grounding.
To ensure that his feelings for you aren’t rooted in unhealthy fixation or obsession, it may be useful to learn more about jealousy in relationships. We recommend our article on how to deal with jealousy in a relationship and debunking the myth of why boyfriends say they’re not the jealous type.
Lastly, if this craving extends into physical territory and creates concerns about attraction and intimacy, our article on whether your boyfriend is still attracted to you could provide some valuable insights.
Remember, the key to a healthy lasting relationship lies within communication, understanding and respect for each other’s emotions and boundaries.
