What’s Up? What’s The Issue?
Hey Soul Bonding Love,
Okay, so like, I’ve been a long-time reader and never thought I’d have an embarrassing love story of my own to share. But here we go… Me and my boyfriend, let’s call him Brad (you know to keep things confidential) have been dating for about three years now, right? We’re pretty serious about each other and everything’s been quite epic until recently.
So a couple of nights ago we were just chillin’, you know how it goes – Netflix and takeout, the usual us time. It was honestly just like any other night. He was being all sweet to me like he always is. Then outta nowhere he dropped this bomb that left me feeling sorta shaken.
He told me that he finds me ‘less attractive’ than when we first started dating. Can you believe it? Less attractive! As if out of all things possible he decided to choose those words for his beloved girlfriend?
I didn’t even know how to react. Of course, initially I laughed it off because sometimes Brad can be a little off beat with his humor but then I looked into his eyes and realized that dude was actually dead serious.
Now don’t get me wrong – I’m all about communication in relationships but this wasn’t specific feedback or anything constructive that could help us grow together as a couple; this was plain offensive! Like are there specific habits or traits that he doesn’t find appealing anymore—or is it more superficial than that?
I’ve never put much stress on being “attractive” or physically perfect because our relationship began on the grounds of emotional connection more than looks. But now when HE utters such words, it does feel a punch to my self-esteem!
Also let’s face it – nobody stays 22 forever! We age, our bodies change & isn’t love supposed to embrace all those changes!? Plus haven’t we always heard men mature slower than women – maybe it’s finally happening with Brad!
It’s been days since but I just can’t get his words outta my head; even though he acts normal like nothing’s changed between us but something surely has – at least for me!
So what do you reckon soul-bonders? How am I supposed to cope with this situation? Deep down in my heart there are so many emotions flooding up caused by these simple yet profound words from someone who means the world to me!
The Raw And Honest Truth I Would Give To My Little Sis…
If you were my little sis, here’s what I would tell you. First off, take a deep breath. I know it feels like you’ve been sucker-punched right now but remember, we can’t control what others say or think, only how we react to it.
Listen. You’re right about one thing: communication in a relationship is critical. It’s not always going to be rainbows and butterflies; sometimes, it can get ugly and hurtful. But that’s okay; every relationship has its highs and lows.
I’d suggest having an open conversation with Brad about this. Ask him for specifics – is it your behavior, appearance, or something else that he finds less attractive? Ask for transparency; this isn’t the time for cryptic messages or beating around the bush.
Now onto the part where he finds you ‘less attractive.’ If Brad was just being mean-spirited or trying to hurt your feelings without any cause – well then honey, red flags are flying.
However, if there are specific habits or physical changes since when you guys started dating that he doesn’t like anymore – even though it might hurt to hear this – at least both of you are being honest about where you stand.
Honesty, even when hard, isn’t necessarily bad; it’s definitely preferable over sweet lies.
Remember that no one is flawless physically and emotionally; we all have our quirks and imperfections – which also make us human! It’s crucial to make sure that beauty standards don’t govern your relationship because love should be more than skin-deep!
But most importantly, love yourself first. Your self-esteem shouldn’t depend on someone else’s perception of attractiveness – maintain your dignity!
Finally, if talks don’t help clear out things between both of you & if Brad continues behaving in a way that hurts your self-esteem then maybe consider taking some space from the relationship – because darling, nobody deserves to feel less than what they truly are.
Love in life will evolve with time as people grow & change but never let anyone – even someone who means so much- belittle your worth! Keep shining bright like a diamond!
Let’s get a deeper analysis, though…
Decoding the “Less Attractive” Comment
First things first, I want you to know that you are not alone in this. Many women have been in your shoes, and it’s a situation that can understandably make one feel hurt and confused. However, it’s important to remember that attractiveness isn’t simply skin-deep. Rather it’s a complex concoction of physical appearance, personality traits, shared interests and emotional compatibility.
So what does he mean by “you’re less attractive”? That’s a tricky question to navigate as every person is unique with their own thoughts and perceptions. But let’s try to unravel this together.
Redefining Physical Attractiveness
Is he referring to your physical appearance when he says you’re less attractive? Perhaps he has noticed some changes in your appearance – weight gain/loss or a new hairstyle perhaps? Or could it be that his idea of beauty has evolved over time?
It’s also possible – albeit tough to accept – that his comment is an indication of his shallow nature. But hold on girlfriend! Even if this is the case, do remember: Your worth is not defined by somebody else’s perception.
The Non-Physical Factors
It’s also crucial to consider non-physical factors like personality traits or habits.
Have there been any significant changes in your lifestyle or behaviour recently? Sometimes these shifts can affect how we are perceived by our partners.
Maybe it’s about emotive attractiveness too – perhaps feeling more distant emotionally because of life events or relationship stressors. Remember: Communication is key!
Before jumping into conclusions, talk with him openly about what specifically has led him to feel this way.
Reflecting on His Intentions
Assuming the best intentions can be hard in such circumstances. You might be wondering if his statement was meant as constructive criticism or if there were ulterior motives behind.
Try giving him the benefit of doubt for now.
Perhaps he voiced out his feelings without fully realizing its potential impact on you. However difficult it may seem now though, consider treating this as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.
Remember! It does not mean something is wrong with you.
But what if there was malice behind his words?
If so sweetie, toxic people who regularly undermine others aren’t worthy of your time indeed!
You deserve someone who appreciates you for who you are.
In conclusion babe (yes we’re breaking rules here because well…girl power), don’t let someone else dictate how you view yourself.
Reach out if needed – friends, family or even professional help like counsellors can provide invaluable support through such trying times.
Remember: In love just like in life – You got this!
Note: This text does not address potential instances where such comments may be part of emotional abuse patterns within relationships.
My Boyfriend Said He Finds Me Less Attractive: What Next?
What was said has been said… so what next?
First Off, Take a Deep Breath
It’s alright to feel a wave of emotions right after your boyfriend has expressed his current feelings towards you. Feeling upset, confused, or even angry is normal. Give yourself some time to breathe and absorb what he said. Remember, it’s just a feeling he’s experiencing at the moment and not a final judgement of your worth. You are more than just a physical entity. Now, let’s delve into this matter with calmness.
The Heart-to-Heart Discussion
Communication is key in any relationship. After gathering your thoughts, sit down with him and have an open discussion about his statement. Be honest about your feelings,
but also try to understand his perspective as well.
Don’t be confrontational; instead, express how you feel calmly and maturely.
The Value of Self-Confidence
You’re beautiful in your own unique way – always remember that! Your boyfriend’s opinion doesn’t define you.
Your self-confidence shouldn’t hinge on someone else’s perception.
Take some time out to pamper yourself and boost that confidence once again.
Maintaining Emotional Stability
It’s crucial not to let his words affect your emotional well-being drastically because being emotionally stable is vital for personal growth.
You need to remain strong,
no matter what anyone else thinks or says.
The Importance of Self-Love
Amidst all of this turmoil, the most important thing is self-love. You should love yourself irrespective of what others think.
Treat yourself kindly during this period; indulge in things that make you happy and keep reminding yourself how wonderful you are.
Determining Future Steps
Depending on how the conversation goes with him, decide on future steps for the relationship.
If he truly loves you,, he’ll understand your sentiments and work on rebuilding the attraction.
If not,you might need to rethink if the relationship is worth pursuing.
Finding Support Outside The Relationship
Finally, don’t forget there are plenty others who love and support you – friends and family can offer immense comfort during tough times.
Likewise it’s always beneficial consulting professional guidance from counselors or therapists if needed.
Note: The usage of HTML tags such as ‘bold’ would depend on whether they’re supported in certain platforms where this text might be used.
You Might Need To Go In Another Direction…
The truth is, all relationships require work and continuous communication. I’ve been there, feeling like I’m struggling, but not knowing exactly why. What if I told you there’s a fun and interactive way to gain clarity on what you’re looking for in a relationship?
Meet the Dating Connect Card Game.
For me, this game isn’t just about having fun.
It’s a comprehensive guide that covers all aspects of dating, from that initial flutter in your stomach to the hard work of building a long-lasting relationship.
What I love about it is the range of questions and prompts. It’s like having a relationship coach right there on your coffee table.
But it’s not all just fun and games. This game is backed by science, incorporating techniques used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and mindfulness.
It pushes you to reflect on your own values, priorities, and preferences.
I’ve also found that in the process, I’ve gained a greater clarity about what I’m looking for in a partner and what I have to offer.
Here’s the best part…
With each game purchased, a part of the profits is donated to Feeding America. So while you’re discovering more about yourself and relationship, you’re also contributing to a good cause! 👌
Perfect for any occasion, I’ve found the Dating Connect Card Game to be the perfect gift for dads, boyfriends, and couples, whether it’s Father’s Day, an anniversary, or just a regular Tuesday. It’s more than just a game, it’s a tool for communication, a love language translator, and a heartfelt gesture, all in one neat package.
Further Advice…
It’s not an easy situation when your boyfriend comments negatively about your physical appearance. If you’re struggling with these feelings, one of the first articles you may find helpful is “Is my boyfriend still attracted to me?”. This article will help you understand signs of diminishing attraction and how to approach the situation.
Comparisons can also often be detrimental in a relationship. Sometimes, our partner may make unflattering comparisons between us and their exes, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy. The article “My boyfriend said his ex was better than me” is a comprehensive guide that can help you navigate such a challenging terrain.
In times when we feel less attractive or less loved by our partners, it’s common to develop feelings of jealousy. This can cause a lot more problems if left unaddressed. Hence, reading the article titled “Is jealousy ruining your relationship? How to deal with a boyfriend who says you’re jealous” might provide useful insights on how to effectively handle such feelings.
Lastly, it’s important to remember that every person has their unique beauty and value. If ever your boyfriend makes negative comments about your physical appearance, the resource “My boyfriend said I’m average looking” can be beneficial for cultivating self-love and confidence despite external opinion.
